September 17, 2013


Dave Blows £16m Wild Card on Ozil


Four-time Kestrel champion Dave has emphatically wasted his £16m wild card on German assist-maester Mesut Ozil.

Ozil, the German under-achiever on whom the Gooners spent a whopping £42m as a panic buy on transfer deadline day, has had more assists than any of the top European performers over the last five years, although unfortunately for Dave, assists count for diddly-squat in the Kestrel.

“I'm gonna go with Ozil to add to my galacticos,” claimed Dave in a short statement released prior to Week No. 5, but the German’s main contribution on his debut only helped current leader Steve claim a vital point as Olivier Giroud took full advantage of another Ozil assist to claim his fourth goal of the Kestrel season.