In arguably the most contentious week in the 25-year history of the Kestrel, an ironic twist of fate saw the only team manager who openly opposed the majority decision to include all Premiership results becoming the main team to not only benefit from the ruling, but to effectively clinch the title because of it.

With Dave and Matt losing no matter which results were used, E-Chief would have only drawn had FA Cup results counted, but a 3-1 win with Prem fixtures means he now has a three-point lead as opposed to one going into the final weekend with a significantly better goal difference

With Dave apparently too upset to comment at this stage, sources close to the Big Fella told Kestrel News that chairs could be heard crashing around the Law household well into the early hours of this morning. "I was just taking the dogs for a walk and I could hear all this noise coming from the living from," said the insider, who did not want to be named. "We could hear all this swearing, plates being thrown - and then he came out into the front lawn brandishing a tennis racquet and smashing the shit out of this giant teddy bear in an Aston Villa shirt. It was a massacre - stuffing was flying everywhere!

"The poor guy. We all know how much it meant for him to try and equal that Kestrel legend Cobman with five titles and what an achievement that would have been - no-one thought it was possible - now he has to tell his poor young children that he won't have that chance now due to this incredible twist of fate."

Upon hearing the news, an unapologetic E-Chief simply said: "Get the f*** in!!"

Elsewhere, Taff was also screwed by the Prem results and instead of winning 2-0, lost 5-1 and could still now finish bottom

Steve, Stu and P-Chief also benefited (slightly), while the Cobs maintained hopes of not finishing with the wooden spoon having picked up 13 points from a possible 15 in the last five games.