If the first five games of last year are anything to go by, Stu is very much on track for a third Kestrel title and justifying his tag as pre-season favourite with three wins and two draws at the start of the latest campaign.

Stu, a two-time Kestrel champion who usualy only wins the title 10 years apart, will be heartened by Steve’s early season form from 12 months ago, having had the same record after five games before going on to claim his fourth Kestrel title.

A Kestrel-leading seven goals from Chelski’s new signing Diego Costa has proved an inspired purchase so far for Stu, who, like Mourinho, will be praying nothing happens to his £34m signing given the lack of goals from the rest of his squad!

Eventual champion Cobman, who stormed out to an early lead with three wins from the first three games, suffered a temporary blip with just one point from the last two games, but will surely bounce back with the Carling Cup coming up in midweek.

Cobman’s B-team, AKA Taff, registered their first win of the season with strikes from Ulloa and Sanchez and are sticking perfectly to their owners game plan of “crap defence built around decent but not star strikers”. Just saying.

Defending champion Steve had a slow start to his quest for a record fifth Kestrel title until the awesomely named Graziano Pelle bagged four goals in three games for the Saints, while Paul’s great start quickly went pear-shaped after his 3-0 win in week one despite only conceding in two games so far.

Dave, E-Chief and Matt are probably already looking forward to the first draft, which, despite controversy after the auction, is back to its usual spot during the last week of October.